For all the years within my memory, I've worn white, brief-style underwear. For me, underwear always had three purposes: comfort, keeping me in place and keeping others from ever comparing me to Britney Spears.

To honor Alive's coverage of the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show, we take a look at five examples of unordinary underwear designed to hide accidental arousal, be disposable, be self-cleaning, filter flatulence and even pocket an iPod, among other appendages.

Stiffies Boxer Briefs ($26 from dealbyethan.com) will hide any embarrassment for males who linger too longingly over the photos of the lingerie-laden Victoria's Secret Angels. A specially designed side pocket hides unintended erections, as well as offering comfort during athletic activities.

OneDerWear (onederwear.com) is disposable underwear designed so travelers don't have to repack dirty undergarments. Made of 100 percent cotton, each package contains five pairs of individually wrapped, disposable drawers for $7. This product comes in boxer and brief styles and is said to be biodegradable.

Disposable underwear only sounds silly until you hear about the U.S. Air Force's self-cleaning underwear.

According to livescience.com, scientists at the USAF spent more than $20 million to invent "a new technology that attaches nanoparticles to clothing fibers using microwaves. Then, chemicals that can repel water, oil and bacteria are directly bound to the nanoparticles. These two elements combine to create a protective coating on the fibers that both kills HYPERLINK "http://www.livescience.com/bacteria/" bacteria and forces liquids to bead and run off."

To wear these briefs, however, you'll have to enlist.

Did you know the average person expels gas 14 times a day? That's why Brian Conant invented Flatulence Deodorizer ($13 at flat-d.com), which is actually a three-ply activated charcoal pad that is worn inside the underwear. It absorbs farts before they hit the air, where the rest of us can smell them.

Of all the iPod gadgets now out in the world, Play certainly has one of the most unique with the iBoxer. This one-button fly, boxer-style underwear has a specially-designed pocket to pack your iPod. This underwear costs $17 to $22 on amazon.com, with select colors and sizes going for as little as $10. Buy two pair and get three free songs from iTunes courtesy of Play.

I'd suggest using one of those free tunes to get Barney Saltzberg's "Where, Oh, Where's My Underwear?"